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kr
Founding Member
NP Raider
Total Posts: 3561
Joined: Apr 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-15 17:24
Applause

"I bet nobody does it this way!"  LOL

something in this suggests that the guy may have moved from sales to buyside... from experience with people here, that is possibly THE MOST DANGEROUS transition that can be made...

my bank got pwnd

HLCYG


Total Posts: 139
Joined: Dec 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-22 17:15
From a Thomson market comment ("Spate of Panic Selling in ABS Secondary"): The emergence of a couple of large bid lists spooked the ABS market ever so slightly this morning causing panic selling in a couple of names [...] a seasoned ABS trader said this morning. 'As I have always said, there are some wimps in this market, amateurs who are making life somewhat difficult for the rest of us,' said another.

WILLARD: "Don't you think it's a little risky for R&R ?" KILGORE: "If I say it's safe to surf this beach, captain - it's safe to surf this beach. I'm not afraid to surf this place, I'm not afraid to surf this fucking place."

Strange


Total Posts: 1346
Joined: Jun 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-23 23:01
Bloomberg TV: "UBS says BJ services pumping ferociusly".

It's buy futures, sell futures, when there is no future!

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-30 09:50

trader: "so i should just use a hedge ratio based on tick values?"

analyst: "did you read the research note i gave you?"

trader: "yes."

analyst: "so why are you using that method?  it's the worst one."

trader: "well, the other ones seemed like a lot of work to calculate."


"You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. Get the fuck off my porch."

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-31 15:37

and another...

trader: "the only reason technical analysis doesn't work is 'cos you have to use a stop". 

Applause


"You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. Get the fuck off my porch."

opmtrader
Founding Member

Total Posts: 1333
Joined: Mar 2004
 
Posted: 2005-03-31 18:08
Jungle, so that's the stuff you were trying to tell me about the other day. Thanks for the heads up! : )

Da Kid


Total Posts: 57
Joined: Nov 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-02 12:06
was interning at a small brokerage back home in Greece that was serving mutual funds for derivatives execution.

my boss gives me the phone and tells me: dude explain this guy option sensitivities. He was manager 50+ that did not go to school etc, old school...but very successful

me: ok, hi
mutual fund manager:"hi, what are option sensitivities?"
me:"ok, so we start with delta....blablabla. Understand?"
him:"yeah, easy stuff"
me:"ok gamma...blablablabla...understand?"
him:"no"
me:"ok, simpler explanation...understand?"
him:"No"
me:"okay, me is intern and got really excited explaining stuff to this manager, so I give the simplest explanation I could, even using parallels with cars etc...Understand what gamma is now?"

him:"why dont you fuck us with your gamma and leave me alone...you gonna execute the trade or not?"

the best part is that "fuck us" in greek is pronounced "gamma mas", so there was brilliant word play in the sentence!!!

me could not speak, was laughing my ass off, including the whole floor since we were live on the speaker!


you have to setup your motherphucker to receive

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-03 17:19

the best part is that "fuck us" in greek is pronounced "gamma mas"

pronounication is more like you pronounce the "g"as if it were "ch" as in loch...no?  anthis?  margarita? Big Smile


"You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. Get the fuck off my porch."

Anthis
It's all Greek to me

Total Posts: 1180
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-03 17:59

Jungle you are closely right. Albeit "loch" is closer to the greek letter "chi", its very similar. I think gamma has a quite unique pronounciation. I guess the dutch g as in "gracht" (canal) is very close or the spanish g.
A funny story i ve been told by friends who served their national service in the northern borders and among their duties was to cope with illegal immigration was the instruction to focus on how people they were meeting  pronounce words containing the letter "gamma". People busted in the area without documents, failing in the "gamma test" were sent back on the other side with synoptic procedures. Big Smile

Anyway, the key point in Da Kids story is that "gamma" apart from the third letter of the alphabet and an option risk factor, is the singular imperative of the verb phuck. Big Smile


Αίεν Υψικράτειν/Τύχη μη πίστευε/Άνδρα Αρχή Δείκνυσι/Νόησις Αρχή Επιστήμης //Σε ενα κλουβί γραφείο σαν αγρίμι παίζω ατέλειωτο βουβό ταξίμι

RFMontraz
NP Italian Stallion

Total Posts: 2014
Joined: Mar 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-04 10:40

Eh eh funny... BTW how do you explain gamma with cars?


Fund Raising and Racketeering, Capital Structure Demolition LLC - What the fuck you mean "not interested" you motherfucker you??

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-04 10:44
re: explaining gamma with cars...speed / acceleration?

"You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. Get the fuck off my porch."

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-04 10:55

trader:  i'm thinking of putting a dec/mar spread in euribor.

analyst:   uh-huh...

trader:     ...and i'm thinking of hedging it.

analyst:   with?

trader:     sep/dec eurodollars spread.

analyst:   because?

trader:     well, it doesn't seem to have moved much recently. 


"You're too old, fat man. Your tits are too big. Get the fuck off my porch."

FDAXHunter
Founding Member

Total Posts: 8349
Joined: Mar 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-04 12:35

"It's like that ancient Tibetian proverb."

"Which one?"

"When you think you are fucking them... they are fucking you."


The Figs Protocol.

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-06 16:32

"what time do you think the fed would do a surprise rate hike?"

 


obnoxious, but in a subtle, tasteful sort of way

Kutilya
Quote Machine

Total Posts: 1287
Joined: Jun 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-06 16:55


>>"When you think you are fucking them... they are fucking you."


Applause



Lost!

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 10:14

trader:  could you tell me the correlation between the eurodollar and the bobl?

analyst:  the eurodollar and the bobl?

trader:  uh...yes.

analyst:  any particular point on the strip?

trader:  what d'you mean?

analyst:  you know there is more than one eurodollar contract, right? 

trader:  well, any one.

analyst:  any one of them?

trader:  yeah, just pick one.

analyst:  you don't think it might be better to look at euribor?

trader: i don't know, i really don't know, that's why i'm asking...


obnoxious, but in a subtle, tasteful sort of way

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 11:26

trader:  "is correlation at its maximum when it's zero?"

i will find out what institution awarded said trader his undergrad in math...thinking it was one of the ones that advertises mail order degrees in the economist...


obnoxious, but in a subtle, tasteful sort of way

Johnny
Founding Member

Total Posts: 4333
Joined: May 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 11:50
Wow. It's a wonder the analyst doesn't stage some sort of putsch ...

Johnny Jupiter Radiation Phynancial phorecasting by the stars for the stars

YukaRedux
Now with added evil

Total Posts: 650
Joined: Dec 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 11:53

reminds me of: "OK, I can see how correlation can be negative, but I can't see how beta could ever be. I mean, stocks always move with the market, right?"



いづれのおほん時にか・・・

James
NP High Priest

Total Posts: 2024
Joined: May 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 11:56
let me know where he got his math undergrad. I will submit some crap cut and pasted from Louis de Branges de Bourcia for a PhD.

Prior to the publication of the Black-Scholes model in 1973, the quest for a valuation formula that would describe option prices reflected one of the most elusive goals in financial economics. Though much work was done in the 1960s, many of the insights and techniques used to solve the problem were presented or anticipated at the beginning of the twentieth century by Louis Bachelier, an obscure French mathematician. These innovations include the first graphical representation of option pricing, a mathematical description of stock prices utilizing Brownian motion and anticipating the efficient market hypothesis, and the first formal option pricing formula.

AndyM


Total Posts: 2319
Joined: Mar 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 11:57

Jungle, you seem to work with some bona fide cretins, or a bunch of spot FX traders...

I had the following experience with a spot FX trader once upon a time (I think I've recounted this one already, but its worth repeating):

SFXT: I hear you're a bit of an Excel guru...
AndyM: Well, I know a few bits and pieces...
SFXT: I have this column of numbers, right...how do I add them up?

This guy made a lot of money, and is now a big muckety-muck at a large American bank...


This space intentionally left blank.

temnik


Total Posts: 204
Joined: Dec 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 14:17
I had a similar encounter - except the guy is/was generallly useless, and instead of column of numbers he had a column of cells with entries like "10 million", "15 million" etc... Big Smile

He was wondering why SUM() stopped working in his Excel...


Mon métier et mon art, c'est vivre.

nsande


Total Posts: 612
Joined: Apr 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-14 14:28

One guy I met who was working for a software vendor referred tp traders as "reptile brains" meaning that they are hardwired to do one thing and they do that very well but are unable to do anything else. I think his experience was primarily with traders of equity and euity derivatives.


"In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflation was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for reelection." Hugo Rossi

James
NP High Priest

Total Posts: 2024
Joined: May 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-15 15:43
This one is about cretinous me (forgive the double post), and so the junior trader who was involved doesn't post it here first, with some sort of scathing decription of yours truly, let me head him off at the pass:


Morning meeting, 8:30 a.m.:
James the PM: "Yesterday Battery5 bonds got hammered from the earnings report. In my view it was way oversold. I want you to watch the runs today and buy 5 million of the cheapest offer you see this morning."
Junior Trader: "Okay."
11:30 a.m.
Junior Trader: "I've got a Battery5 axe from SleepyBank at 96-98."
James, nodding his head vigorously, with a big grin on his face, about to pee his pants in excitement: "That's a great price! Hit it! Hit it!"
Junior Trader: "you want me to sell? I thought you wanted me to buy?"
James: {long uncomprehending pause.....}
James: {a very faint light illumes, as if from a flashlight where the battery is almost burned out}
James: {trys to think of some clever response. Mentally returns to Soybean pit of 1986}
James: "Go buy that fucking bond."
Junior Trader: {smirks} "Yeah, whatever. Okay"

Prior to the publication of the Black-Scholes model in 1973, the quest for a valuation formula that would describe option prices reflected one of the most elusive goals in financial economics. Though much work was done in the 1960s, many of the insights and techniques used to solve the problem were presented or anticipated at the beginning of the twentieth century by Louis Bachelier, an obscure French mathematician. These innovations include the first graphical representation of option pricing, a mathematical description of stock prices utilizing Brownian motion and anticipating the efficient market hypothesis, and the first formal option pricing formula.

jungle
Chief Rhythm Officer
CSD LLC
Total Posts: 3163
Joined: Jul 2004
 
Posted: 2005-04-20 17:04

i kinda feel like i'm monopolizing the thread, but this was too good not to share.

"I need to find in Bloomberg information related to Euribor contracts 6 month and 12 months...These contracts contain Cap and Floors with different Knocks...Can you let me know any code/s in order to find out information...?"

MORON Comdty <GO> ?


"it's just hard to be on time for things when you're as vain as i am."
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