goldorak
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| Total Posts: 1091 |
| Joined: Nov 2004 |
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pj
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| Total Posts: 3567 |
| Joined: Jun 2004 |
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IT sales guy:
"It's not a bug. it's a future" |
OFFENDERS WILL BE TERMINATED
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Nonius
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| Founding MemberNonius Unbound |
| Total Posts: 12800 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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FDAXHunter
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| Founding Member |
| Total Posts: 8372 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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Trader A: "Did you know that Taleb is coming out with a new technical book?"
Trader B: "No, I didn't?"
Trader A: "It's called 'Everything you know is wrong... you cunt.'" |
The Figs Protocol. |
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pj
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| Total Posts: 3567 |
| Joined: Jun 2004 |
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A support analyst patiently answering the question:
> When the volatility is constant, it means the volatility is the same at any time.
>When it is time-dependent, it means that at different time, the value is different. |
OFFENDERS WILL BE TERMINATED
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FDAXHunter
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| Founding Member |
| Total Posts: 8372 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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Nonius
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| Founding MemberNonius Unbound |
| Total Posts: 12800 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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| that is Phucked up! |
Chiral is Tyler Durden |
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tabris
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| Total Posts: 1277 |
| Joined: Feb 2005 |
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Sales guy:
"Come on, its not that bad, look the mid is within bid ask." |
Dilbert: Why does it seem as though I am the only honest guy on earth?
Dogbert: Your type tends not to reproduce. |
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FDAXHunter
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| Founding Member |
| Total Posts: 8372 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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| "If you squeeze coal futures hard enough... do they turn into diamond futures?" |
The Figs Protocol. |
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FDAXHunter
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| Founding Member |
| Total Posts: 8372 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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Seen in a paper:
 and
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The Figs Protocol. |
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Kitno
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| Total Posts: 500 |
| Joined: Mar 2005 |
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03-02-2008: BBG IM to mucker: "Smashing 200 bunds...watch out the market is about is about to fall out of bed...I am the Flipper!"
12-04-2016: [Compliance] Kitno: please explain this - how did you manipulate the market?
...
Do you seek counsel in Osmium?
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On a laager on a hill. A long way from Avondale. |
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akimon
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| Total Posts: 566 |
| Joined: Dec 2004 |
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On Graduate Hiring.
Trader: [Looking at pile of resumés] Dude, we're just an investment bank. We don't need rocket scientists, we just need bodies.
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tabris
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| Total Posts: 1277 |
| Joined: Feb 2005 |
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| akimon: last time said trader went for whiskey and told us the story... i told him i was quite surprised the rocket scientist took the job with you guys and turned down spacex/tesla... |
Dilbert: Why does it seem as though I am the only honest guy on earth?
Dogbert: Your type tends not to reproduce. |
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tabris
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| Total Posts: 1277 |
| Joined: Feb 2005 |
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| [double clicked...] |
Dilbert: Why does it seem as though I am the only honest guy on earth?
Dogbert: Your type tends not to reproduce. |
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akimon
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| Total Posts: 566 |
| Joined: Dec 2004 |
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| tabris: I was surprised too. In fact, that was what started my conversation about graduate hiring! |
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Senior credit Sales (10+ years doing this job):
"So this spread on a CDS what is is spread to exactly?" |
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radikal
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| Total Posts: 265 |
| Joined: Dec 2012 |
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Automated system places hedges against some fills. Automated system tries to cancel said hedges as they're no longer optimal. Automated system fails and gets filled on said hedges "locking in" the previous winner. (But giving up instantaneous edge)
"Garbitrage?" |
There are no surprising facts, only models that are surprised by facts |
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pj
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| Total Posts: 3567 |
| Joined: Jun 2004 |
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A coder complaining:
It makes my job sound like so whimsical:
“What do you do for a living?”
“I set up Butterfly Conventions.”
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I saw a dead fish on the pavement and thought 'what did you expect?
There's no water 'round here stupid, shoulda stayed where it was wet.'
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Let's get children involved in highly-leveraged financial instruments. Yai!
Eurex sponsored the Futures for Kids (FFK) Walk to Work 2015
As Razors sez in "Long Good Friday": "From little acorns..." |
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HitmanH
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| Total Posts: 498 |
| Joined: Apr 2005 |
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| From the FFK thing - I was having a chat with someone recently - who was bemoaning that Dutch high schools had taken option maths off the high school curriculum - and was gunning for some young Tweede Kamerlid (Member of Parliament / senator equivalent) to get in and bring it back... |
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TSWP
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| Total Posts: 454 |
| Joined: May 2012 |
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On the internet, some guy that touts himself as an expert, a few days before the Brexit referendum vote:
"Everybody knows that the Brexit event will be a non-event, nothing is going to happen. Britain will vote to stay in EU out of fear of change. The status quo generally has the edge on these kinds of referendums for that reason". |
The only thing that counts: can you make money? |
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FDAXHunter
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| Founding Member |
| Total Posts: 8372 |
| Joined: Mar 2004 |
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Sort of trading related:
"30 kg: 90 GBP"
"40 kg: 123 GBP"
You just made that price up, didn't you? |
The Figs Protocol. |
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goldorak
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| Total Posts: 1091 |
| Joined: Nov 2004 |
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It is all about packaging, you know that FDAX!
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If you are not living on the edge you are taking up too much space. |
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- Pound is falling !!!!
- Normal it's half kilo |
/* Trust is good, no trust is better. */ |
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| What does the fact that these quotes are much less funny than those from pre-crisis days tells us about the state of the industry? |
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